Showing posts with label him. Show all posts
Showing posts with label him. Show all posts

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Let Me Let Go

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I don't get it. The hell this man has put me throw. The pain he caused me, and now he has found new love and it hurts like hell. I should be celebrating. I should be dancing, yet I sit at home crying.

I thought I had let him go. I really did, but this news has made it very clear that I haven't, so God, you haven't heard much of my prayers lately, but I am down on my knees with this one -- Let Me Let go. Please, let me let go.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Blah

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That is me these days…weeks. Next week, we have a court hearing coming up. It’s to address the issue of a paternity test, temporary visitation, custody and child support, and “MrNiceGuy” is making my life hell with lots of phone calls, instant messages and texts.

Basically, he doesn’t want the hearing. He wants us to go back to the proposed paternity settlement agreement , where he gets a $200 cut in child support, gets 6-12 months before he has to pay and can stop paying should he lose his job, yet again.

Needless to say, I have my issues with that proposal, and my attorney is pushing for the hearing. So “MrNiceGuy” is nowthreatening that if we have to go to a hearing, it’s going to get nasty. He will also try to get rotating custody where she spends one week with me another week with him. He is unemployed, but still can’t make time to spend one day in the week with her, but he wants a whole week. As a part of his threat he says, “I don’t want that, but if you push this I will have no choice.”

So yeah I am blah.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Today

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...is one of those days, I would like to let the blood flow, just to stop this ache. Abandoned and alone just when I need them the most. Fuck family.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

mrNiceGuy/Mother's Day

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...that is his new id on popular site. I about cracked up when I saw that. Look out girls, MrNiceGuy is single and looking, and I think that is how I will refer to him from now on.

So I am lying here, while she sleeps enjoying a quiet mother's day. It's not the one we had planned. I am suppose to be in Miami, getting spoiled for my first ever mother's day, but a little something called an upper respiartory infection side tracked me.

Overall, I am grateful. My little one is healthy, happy and doing well, and for the first time in days, I can breath and don't have a 101 tempature. It's all about the little things.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Hired an attorney

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When I say, I wiped out my account, I wiped it out -- $3,500 as a retainer, and I pray he is worth. It was money from income tax refunded but I just too fearful to go on without an attorney. Now, I am somewhat hopeful. He sat and just let me talk and ask questions for more than hour, almost two.



Unfortunately, I can’t get the case moved to my county. It seem her father did file within the 20 day guidelines and DOR gives them an option to respond in any court of their choosing and of course he chose his county. The lawyer said if I wanted him to argue to move it to my county, I could but it could end being throw out. I would have love to gotten it to my county because I suspect he is hiding stuff here, but hey.

However, we are going file our own counterclaim. The attorney said based on the affdative there is already a presumption of paternity. He plans to filed a motion saying so, and that this is way to avoid the DOR child support case. Ooh he will also be talking with the DOR attorney. And he said if they want to question paternity and insist on a DNA test, then the father will have to pay for it. Ohh, they will be filing for a full disclosure of all his finances from income taxes, pay checks bank statements, you name it. He will also be demanding retroactive child support from the day the baby was born, as well as for him to pay half my medical expenses, and up to 75 percent of the baby’s daycare bills.



As for the 50/50 split, which is how courts seem to like to do, he thinks that is highly unlikely. He said while it’s possible, he doubts a judge wouldn’t do that, and we will be building a case against doing that



Now, let’s see what he comes back with. I know he—her father—will be livid. I am not suppose to have an attorney to defend myself. He did the exact same thing to the mother of his 7 year old son. She filed a domestic violence case agaisnt him in her county. Somehow with all that he was granted temp custody of the baby who was two at the time. He filed for paternity and custody in his county, and she showed up without lawyer and got screwed. The he turned around and filed for child support from her. I refuse to be her, and will fight him battle for battle. Right now, the baby will be past one by the time this goes through the courts.

The attorney says six to nine months...pray for me.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

On Friday, I became a slut…

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…that is claim. On Friday, I got served papers. He wants to establish paternity of the baby because “the respondent was also engaged in sexual intercourse with other men during the period of conception of the child.”

I filed for child support, and CPS comes a knocking, and now he doesn’t think the baby is his. It seems I sleep around.

But that isn’t the worse part of this: “Petitioner(him) is financially unable to paid (his attorney) or cost of this action, but Mother is well able to do so.”

WHAT THE FUCK. I am $10,000 behind on the mortgage payments. He doesn’t pay child support. In 10 months, he bought 1 box of diapers, two containers of soild and paid 6-7 daycare payments, but I must pay his attorney fees.

I earn $2000 monthly. My expenses are broken down like this.

1. HOA fee -- $108
2. Baby medications -- $160
3. Daycare -- $660
4. Doctor visits -- $30
5. Car -- $336
6. babysitter - $240
7. Light -- $120
8. Phone - $150
9. Food, formula, diapers, - $300
10. Gas -- $150
11. insurance - $180


I am at negative 434, and remember the mortgage of $1,2000 hasn’t been paid since November. But I am financially able to pay his attorney fees. How cruel can one person get?

Then he turns around and send me text messages like this. Sent Saturday at 1:23 p.m.

It is funny how quickly you cut me and aj from being a family.

It’s my fault. Always my fault.

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Final Proposition

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At 10:44 p.m. Sunday he sent me the the following text message:

This is my final proposition. We put the war behind us. we move in together. I will be humble. Take care of kids."

I would comment, but I am still laughing.

Monday, April 6, 2009

CPS came knocking

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I had just stripped the baby down to check her temperature anally when the knock came.
“Can you get that?” I yelled to the babysitter.

She opened the door and immediately called me over. I wander over to the front door with naked, squirming baby in hand, and a very attractive woman greeted me.

“I am with Department of Children and family, child protective service,” she said.

I blinked and just stared at her for a few minutes before mumbling, “Come on in.”

I handed the baby to K- the babysitter – to dress her while I tried to get my brain to focus. CPS here in my home, why? I have been a good mother, haven’t I? What could this possibly be about?

We had an anonymous report called in, saying the home was unsanitary and unsafe for the child,” she explained.

I know I kept breathing, but someone how it didn’t feel like it, and the more she talked the harder it became to breath and the more my disbelief grew, not only because of what she was saying but because I knew who made the complaint and why.

We all have a distinctive way of speaking. It’s the same why all writers have a specific style to their writing. It gives us away all the time.

The accusation was that I had the child lying around in towels and sheets filled with feces and vomit and ooh that I slept in my clothes, and how “a child that suffers from breathing issues can’t live in such conditions.”

Now, first let me say the accusation is false. A month ago the baby was sick with the stomach flu, and all she did for a week was poop or vomit. I was constantly changing her, the bed, and the sofa and wiped out all the towels in the house cleaning up the mess.

I used gloves all the time and put them in garbage bags in a corner of the house to take to a Laundromat. This wasn’t something my little washer and dryer at home could handle and believe me I tired. On at the first sign of improvement, when she went an whole day without popping every hour, I went to Laundromat and washed everything for $80.

A month later that was being used against me to say I am an unfit mother. Hey, I am not the cleanest person, messy, yes – but you try being a single mom, working fulltime, freelance, and taking care of a 9 month old, and maintain an utterly spotless home.

In fact the caseworker said the same thing. She said she saw clutter but nothing that would classified as unsanitary.

She then asked. “Do you have an idea of who would make such a complaint?”

I laughed, a bitter, slightly madwoman laugh. “Yes, her father. A week ago, I filed for child support.”

An expression of understanding dawned on her face. “I don’t mean to tell you what to do, but I would encourage you to continue seeking child support.”

It is the only thing that makes sense. The complaint is about something that was a month old. Anyone who was that concern would have called that day, not a month later, and I doubt CPS sits on complaints for a month. Besides there were only two people allowed in the house at that time, him and the babysitter, and she was as shocked as I was to see CPS.

As I said early, the way we speak, gives us away, and one of his comments that day when he came to visit was, “a child that suffers from breathing issues can’t get fresh air in all this mess.”
It was great for him to judge when in the midst of it all, I had called him to come take her for at least a day to help me, and he bluntly refused.

However the biggest proof was a text message from him 7:19 p.m. Friday April 3 – “So u think I reported u?”

Hmmmm – tell me deadbeat dad how did you know there was a report if I didn’t tell you about it and they didn’t tell you.

Anyways, at this point, I wait to hear a final judgment from CPS. Pray for me, even though the casework did says she thinks it’s a nothing case, but I take nothing for granted.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Today's Text Messages

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12:59 -- I am on the phone doing a interview this pops up: "How's baby today?"

I don't respond, and by about 1:13 I get this. "Why are you so downright nasty? Can't tell me how is baby."

I text back: "She is at the daycare. You know that. You usually call them to find out how she is doing. You call them everyday. You are just texting me now to harrass me at work, and it's been noted."

His reply: 1:23 p.m. "Ur idot."

I don't reply. It's time to shut him out, knowing the insults will only get worse. Sure enough, two minutes later at 1:25 -- "Fine don't tell me, heartless beyoch."

Today it's almost civil for him. Yesterday with his 7-year old son in the backseat he shouts. " You could have someone there and fucking him in the garage I don't give a damn."

All this because I asked him to drop baby off at work because -- shock -- I was at work. I also knew that if I met him at the house it would be more of his verbal abuse. I have made it a point of never allow him in my house or be anywhere private with him. That at least forces him to be somewhat civil, and he wonders why I don't want to be with.