I wake up exhausted and getting through the day wears me out. It‘s like I took a wrong turn somewhere and can’t seem to get back on the right path.
If I am honest with myself it is about money. I have some major financial issue coming up – decision about the mortgage and whether or not the state will continue to assist me with child care. I have been living with the uncertainty for so long; you think I would be use to it by now. But no -- it’s eating away at me. I want answers now so I can start planning. I also think part of the frustration is that now instead of waiting 6 to 9 months for answers – that was far away -- off in the distance. I now only have a month and a half. It’s so close. It’s like the closer it gets the more anxious I get.
The last six months have been good – financial. Despite the challenges we somehow survived, and I want to believe that whatever the decisions we will survive still, but it is so hard. I am overcome with the what ifs. What if the state says I make too much and I have to pay full price for daycare? That is $500 a month – where do I find that. What if…?
Faith – I need to have faith
Southern Green Beans
1 week ago
3 comments on "Faith where are you?"
The waiting is the worst part of anything for me. Hang in there, you'll be in my thoughts.
Hang in there, mama. I know how hard the uncertainty is, but you hit the nail on the head - it always works out, somehow. Maybe not according to our plan, or even our best hope, but it will all work out.
I'm sorry you're going through this and hope things get better soon.
Please trust that you and that precious baby girl of yours will be just fine. Things will work out, you'll see.
(((Hugs)))
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